We are an ever evolving species - Big Step Forward Today for America! MOVING FORWARD!

Evidence of marriage can be found all the way back to the Stone Age. Research shows that it was a way of organizing and controlling the activities under the uhh ehhhh hmmmmm ....animal skins.

There is evidence in ancient Mesopotamia (think 2000BC) of marriage, they've found marriage contracts/agreements.

Marriage became a way for people to keep or save their powerful positions- using their women and young girls to bargain for anything from uniting a kingdom to adding more livestock to the family farm. Once married the main focus was making babies. The woman's job was to produce an heir, specifically a male heir, someone to continue the family name. And we all remember what happened to Henry the VII's wives that didn't produce heirs him... too bad the determining factor of whether a baby will be a boy or girl all lies with the dad's lil swimmers.

Once a woman was married she gave up all rights and if her husband were to die, she wouldn't inherit ANYTHING- it would all go to her eldest son.

Marriage was NOT always, as some claim, controlled by the church. In most civilizations marriage was a civil matter. In the 5th Century when the Roman Empire Collapsed the Catholic Church took over, ruling not over the church but also the government and continued to exert it’s influence for centuries. One of the Catholic Church's Seven Sacraments is Marriage, that was added to the sacrament list in 1215 and it was only later in 1500s that the church deemed weddings must have a witness and be performed by a priest.

Marriage also hasn't always been defined as one man with one woman. Men have taken multiple wives in many areas of the world, even in Biblical times you have King Solomon with his 700 wives and 300 concubines.

As evident from above marriage has also not always been about love- it wasn't until the Enlightenment and the Victorian Era that you start to see love enter in the equation of a majority of marriages.

In pre-civil war era America, slaves were not allowed to get married. Once freed, minorities were allowed to marry but it was illegal to marry someone of another race. In 2000 Alabama became the LAST state to officially legalize interracial marriage! In 2000!?!?!

DOMA was signed into law in 1996 stating that marriage was defined as being between a man and a woman. Soon after many states started fighting this and in 1999 Vermont became the first state to allow same-sex civil unions. By 2003 Massachusetts sets a precedent as the first state to legalize same-sex marriage.

In 2008 Prop8 banned same-sex marriages in the state of California.

In 2012 people showed up in Maine, Maryland, Minnesota and Washington at the polls supporting marriage equality.

In May of 2013 Minnesota became yet another state to allow same-sex marriages and today the Supreme Court Ruled DOMA and Prop8 were unconstitutional!

12 states have legalized same-sex marriage CT, DE, IA, MN, MD, MA, NH, NY, RI, VT, WA, DC, 5 Native American Tribes and today we add CA. Since 2004 the percentage of registered voters that believe in marriage equality has nearly doubled.

So what's my point? My point is that times change, opinions change, the "norm" changes, the way we see the world changes. One of the most enduring characteristics of mankind is our ability to grow, to evolve, to learn from our past.

Look at our past and where we are now. The momentum needs to keep moving forward.

When I used to teach, my students were amazed by the tolerated attitude of how many Americans treated blacks; they couldn't believe laws were signed into place limiting certain civil rights just based on the color of their skin.

I'm proud to teach Isabelle that LOVE IS LOVE and I hope that when she is my age this is a story that's taught in history class and the kids say "I can't believe people had to fight for this- don't they know it's wrong to treat someone like this?"

We've still got a long way to go, but wow it feels good to see in actions the fact that people are opening up their mind and their hearts to the idea that LOVE IS LOVE. That it is a civil right to love who you want to love and no one has the right to deny you of that and all that comes with loving that person including the right to marry them.

Keep up the good work America- you are almost there!

I love you pretty girl even though you are dangerous

I love my daughter.  

I honestly believe I've given her over a million kisses since her birth almost 2 years ago.  I love everything about her.  I love watching her grow up, learn new things and figure things out- like how she now knows how to turn on my iphone and slide her finger across the screen when looking at pictures.  I love watching her smile as she recognizes herself in the pictures.  I do cringe watching her grow up only because I can’t believe how fast it’s passing.  I swear I still feel like it was just yesterday that I was rubbing my belly, completely happy and content knowing that my sweet girl was in there growing.  Before I knew it I was in the hospital expecting her to come any minute and then 27 hours later after over 3 hours of pushing POP she was here.  I remember looking at her thinking- I can’t wait till you can sit up and then one day; there she was, sitting up! I thought before I know it, she’ll be walking and again I look up and she’s walking to me arms outstretched. I think back to her starting to coo and babble, which eventually turned to words like mama and dada repeated endlessly and now she’s repeating all kinds of words and starting to make sentences.

Some people say “she’s not even 2, calm down; you have so much more time with her”

But it’s like I used to tell my students, you get this one tiny little window in your life to be young, you have the rest of your life to be old. I know I’ll blink and she’ll be all grown up!

Recently we've been dealing with another part of growing up.  Isabelle is learning how to communicate her feelings and some of her feelings aren't so nice.  Like MINE! Or NO!

She’s not the best sharer and definitely doesn't like to hear no or when we stop her from doing something she obviously wants to do or taking something away from her.

At first it started with teething.  I mean I get it, if I’m a baby and I’m given frozen plastic objects to chew on to help with my pain- why not try out other items that pass by my mouth.  Nibbling on mommy’s shoulder, chewing on a neighboring baby’s finger that is pointed in my face- You mean that finger wasn't meant for my mouth?

But we've reached the point where she doesn't get what she wants; she opens her mouth and lunges towards us.  Or she’ll just get in a “funk” and it takes very little for her to explode

She’s been written up at daycare several times and I’m getting the stink eye from more and more parents.  I’m guessing she’s tagged everyone in her room, if not close to everyone with her bite mark.  And I get it, I’d be upset to pick my kid up and they have a nice lil red mark on their cheek.  Yep, that’s right my kid has already gone for the face in her attacks.

All too often I hear, oh she’s bad.  Heck- I've said it to her “BAD BAD GIRL!”

I would like to assert the fact that she is not bad and I’m definitely not a bad mom.  I mean remember- I’m captain of Team Awesome. 

I've looked into this and it’s as simple as frustration and fear.  They are learning to process everything and they aren't quite there yet.  Maybe your kid has but mine hasn't.  She’s got a million things going on in her head; remember she’s learning it all right now.  How to open things, how to turn things on, how to talk, how to jump, how to run- so much to learn and if you stop and think about it- it’s kind of amazing.  So she’s getting upset and it’s building up inside, incident and after incident until finally the only thing she knows to do is open that mouth and chomp!  It can be a bunch of things that happened in the past or one incident – it just reaches a boiling point when they need to let it all out. 

The CRAZIEST thing I've read about the biting is that a lot of children that have the biting issues were born from long, difficult labors.  Wow!  That might not be the case with everyone but that definitely matches up with me!

I've also been puzzled as to why she’ll laugh when I stop her from biting and scold her.  I mean, I’m sitting in my bathroom practicing my mean face.  I have to admit it is pretty ridiculous and might warrant a laugh here and there but not with a stern NO!  Then I've learned that this is actually a good sign.  It means she’s releasing the tension that has built up in her.  It could come in the form or crying, wriggling around in a fit or in laughing.  It’s all sign she’s letting it all out. 

OK so now I feel better and I can even relate!  So I have serious jaw issues, when I’m stressed I clench my teeth.  I clench them so hard I give myself what feels like ear aches.  I also tend to clench my teeth when I’m super happy about something.  I've always wondered why I did that.  I’m doing exactly what she’s doing but I’m not biting anyone- I’m biting down on my own teeth.

So now feeling a little better about our situation, I’m continuing what I've always done.  I get in her face, eye contact, tell her no. I remove her from the situation and then get back to eye contact to let her know why we don’t bite and let her have her fit or cry or even laugh.

I've been told to bite her back or hit her with a “she won’t bite again” comment.  And maybe she won’t but now I've just told her not to bite by biting her- what?  And I've taught her that when someone frustrates you, you hit them.  Which is something I struggle with at 32- sometimes I get frustrated and I want to hit something.  I've held myself back from popping her, it’s a reaction I have too and have to consciously stop myself.  Turns out all she needs is a little TLC.  Just like me- she needs someone to pay attention to her and let her know she is loved.

In no way am I saying it's okay to bite, because it's not.  But such is true in almost every point of conflict in our lives, heck in the world- find out the reason and you will usually have more success in resolving the problem long term.  Listening isn't always the easiest alternative but I've found in other situations it is the best alternative.

So if you are like me and have a biter; you are feeling like you have the “bad kid” and you feel all alone.  Know this- you aren't.  Your kid isn't bad and you aren't a bad parent.  They are a lot like us, we get upset, life is dealing us crappy hand after crappy hand and all you want is someone to listen to you vent.  They too are just looking for someone to listen to them VENT.

They are still as sweet as sugar and they will continue to give you headaches and heartaches.  You, like me, are a great parent!

J

Just keep letting them know how much you love them, every day, every moment you can- even if they are dangerous ;) 

I might be the worst blogger on the planet

You know for someone who likes to share so much so openly I sure do have a hard time posting regular blogs.

Seriously it's been 5 months since my last post.  WTH

Team Awesome seems to be struggling and getting dangerously close to TEAM NOT SO MUCH.

So what's been going on in the past five months?  Well let's see...

In September Isabelle got a new cousin- a beautiful baby girl named Lily.  Now she has a girl cousin on both sides of the family and both are relatively close to her in age.  It's going to be lots of fun watching them all grow up together.

Fall rolled in faster than I was ready for- I am such a lover of summer so I was sad to see it go but not all is lost with Fall's arrival.  Fall also signaled the beginning of Football season a favorite in our house and I got to bring my little sweetheart to a game.  

We had lots of fun watching Georgia and we came so close to that Championship game.  The taste of Victory was on our tongue but alas this year was AGAIN not our year.

Mommy and Daddy celebrated our 32nd birthdays in October- I still don't believe I'm actually 32.  There must be some sort of grand punking going on right now.  Surely I was 18 just last year, definitely too awesome to be this old and yes I do know that 32 is not that old.

We got to take family pictures with AmyKat Photography and sadly for mommy Isabelle was less than cooperative.  My sweet girl that is normally all smiles and giggles does NOT like being told to stay, sit and smile on cue.  It appears if I'm going to get a sweet picture with her and not end up sweating and chasing after her I'll need to just have the photographer have a continuous shutter on- snapping non stop!  But we were able to get a few cuties

November and December brought the Holidays full of fun for everyone!  We had all kinds of adventures from going to the zoo with friends to the aquarium with Uncle Rory and Aunt Drew!  We did the pink pig with Auntie Bridget and Cousin Charlie and saw Santa not once, not twice but THREE TIMES!  Each time was met with the same result- screaming and crying and reaching for momma.  Maybe next year she'll be happier to see the Jolly ole man!

We also took more pictures with AmyKay Photography and this time with her cousin Charlotte.  Nana is still requesting a picture where both girls are looking at the camera and both girls are smiling big but so far no such luck!  I will say however they are pretty cute in this picture

Santa's sleigh was packed to maximum capacity even though we told him to take it easy on the presents.  Jimmy is in quite the mood over all the toys in the house.  Grandpa Tim said he can have his museum back in about 20 years but until then he needs to let go and have a come to jesus moment over the fact that his house is not "his" anymore!  Isabelle is definitely spoiled by all of our family members and it should be interesting to see how she acts when a new brother or sister joins our family.

New Year's was spent with friends and family and Jimmy was less than impressed that most of us passed out soon after midnight.  He's having the hardest time adjusting to the fact that he's not a 16 year old boy.  I've asked various doctors when this phase might pass and I've only been told it varies with each man-child but it is indeed a long process.

It's hard to believe that it's 2013.  Seems like a date we'd hear about in a movie and think- wow that's so far in the future.  But it's right here, right now and we still don't have flying cars!  Well hovercrafts are close I guess.

January has come and gone like a blink of the eye and I'm sure February will do the same.  They say time flies when you are having fun and if that's the case I must have been having a lot of fun the past 32 years.  I have flash memories of different points in my life.  Points when I can remember "I am truly very happy, right here, right now"  In each of those moments it feels like they were just yesterday- not 5, 10, 15, 20 years ago!  What I was 12 years old 20 years ago- WHAT?!?!

This month Isabelle will be 18months.  It feels like just yesterday I was pushing her out- pushing for over 3 hours!  She really is such a magical experience in my life.  Each day brings something new with her and each day when I think I love her the most that I ever could I soon find out that the next day I love her more.

I'd like to have more so that Isabelle gets to be a big sister just like her mom.  Big Sisters definitely turn out to be WONDERFUL people.  But just like Isabelle made me wait it appears that the next baby is making me wait too.

Some months I get caught up in how much I want another baby I lose myself but then, after I've dried my tears, I make myself list all the wonderful things in my life.  I let myself get upset but not for too long.  I remind myself that some women try for years and years to have one baby- let alone two and it never happens for them.  I also remind myself that to believe- truly believe- there is something wonderful on it's way.

Believe- such a powerful word if you stop and ponder over it for a moment.

So for now I focus on today.  I focus on the things I can control and remind myself that time is flying because I'm having so much fun.  Even when terrible things happen in my life, natural disasters, stress at work, stress at home, stress over our cursed god-forsaken home- the time has still flown by because I have friends and family that remind me to have fun.

How is she already one?!?!

Isabelle is one!  I know I can't believe it myself!
It feels like just yesterday I was holding her for the first time, immediately falling in love with her and every day since then I've fallen a little bit harder.

There are days when the stress of bills, work or just life in general make me want to pull my hair out and then she'll look up at me and smile and it all just melts away.  I love to make her laugh, it has to be one of my favorite things these days.  I've always been the one to make people laugh- always cutting jokes, doing impressions, whatever and to be able to do that with her is the most amazing gift.

Each passing day she's doing something new or she'll start to understand something.  It's amazing to watch her grow and learn.  Her favorite is a show called Mickey Mouce Clubhouse on Disney- so that was her theme this year.  Here are some pictures on her actual birthday.  The family came over and we celebrated with dinner, cake and presents!

SUCH A MESS!  The bathtub was a slight brown from all the chocolate!

The Saturday after her birthday we had a party for her at the house.  It was a POOL PARTY! We set up a bunch of kiddie pools in the front yard, squirt guns, bath toys, nerf balls- all for the kiddos!

The morning started out gloomy but gave way to some fun and sun.  Our house was loaded with friends and kids- it was so much fun!  

 The Spread!

 Mickey Mouse Cake!  And a pictures from each month- starting the say she was born to 12 months!

 Her Very own SMASH CAKE!!

 Birthday Banner that Grammy Holland had made for her!

It's time for CAKE!!  Time to sing Happy Birthday to the Birthday Girl!

She didn't know quite what to do so daddy helped her out and then made her look like a clown!

The best thing I've ever done!

Time to hose off the birthday girl!!

Hanging with her buddy Avery!

Team Pelick and Flake taking over on water balloon making!

Time to open Presents!

Bottom of the coolest cake ever!

To me everyday is a celebration of the day she was born.  I'm so thankful that I was blessed with her and so happy I'm her mommy.  She truly is the best thing I've ever done.

I love you my sweet princess!!