To My Dear Friends- John and Nicole…

"If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it is yours forever. If it doesn’t, then it was never meant to be."

Never has a quote been truer of two people than this one with John and Nicole.  John and Nicole actually had several tests to see if this was a true statement.  They've tried to pull apart but just like two magnets, a force kept pulling them back together. 

I knew Nicole in High School but it wasn’t until college that we became fast friends.  When I first went to Nicole’s house she showed me to her bedroom and pulled something out from her bed.  She swore me to secrecy as she opened a large box that she was keeping hidden.  I feel that the statute of limitations has expired on this promise and I can share this now without repercussion from Nicole- at least I hope.  She opened the box and it was full of stuff that linked her to a high school boyfriend.  It was a boy named John Pelick.  I recognized him as I’d seen him out and about and I assured her that it was ok to remember the good they had shared but she was much better without him.  I too had my own little box of memories from a high school boyfriend and didn’t think much of it.  Little did I know this was the boy she was going to marry- but I wonder if Nicole always knew ;)

Nicole and I became fast friends sharing pretty much everything with one another and when I came home from college each weekend to see my boyfriend I would also come see Nicole and hang out with her. 

Soon Nicole and John started dating again.  At first I didn’t trust the guy but the more I saw them together the more he started to grow on me.  Unfortunately it seemed that fates of time weren’t quite ready for the two to be together and they parted ways once again.  I think I took the break-up harder than the two of them.  For they were both good friends of ours (Jimmy and Me) and when they broke up Nicole had to distance herself from the two of us as well so that she had time to get over John- it appeared we got John with the break-up. 

 Jimmy and John spent so much time together after the break-up.  At first it was hard for me- because here was John a single guy out on the prowl and taking my boyfriend out with him as a wingman.  It was a tough pill to swallow for me. 

 Slowly but surely I saw something wonderful happen; I watched John grow up! Now don’t get me wrong- John was a very smart, intelligent person- he wasn’t some juvenile kid.  I have to bring up that when I was young girl crying over a boy my dad said something that stuck with me ever since.  He said “sometimes us boys just take a little longer to grow up” 

What I was witnessing was John growing up emotionally.  He quickly became a person I could trust, someone who looked out for me and someone I considered a true friend.  Here it was just as my dad said- a fly boy, a playboy- growing up right in front of me.  I’ve always been able to stop and see what others don’t always catch at first and there it was coming forward- traits like compassion, kindness, thoughtfulness- they were always there but now they were coming forward in actions.  And as they say- actions speak louder than words.  It was wonderful to see but it also made me wish it was something I could see with Nicole.

2 years ago Jimmy and I were married and all the events that led up to our wedding brought two paths back together.  Nicole was a bridesmaid and John was a groomsmen.  Some of us saw a spark start to develop between Nicole and John and soon created a conspicuous code name for a plan we were developing- Operation John and Nicole.  LOL ;) There were some of us that really wanted the two to get back together and some that were hesitant.  I was a bit of both- I wanted both of them to be happy but I also wanted it to happen naturally and protect them both as I couldn’t bear to see either of them get hurt again.  Well wouldn’t you know there didn’t need to be a plan, the two were like magnets and before we knew it they started dating again and the rest as they say- is history.

Nicole is a true friend and there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for her.  Jimmy and her have also been friends for quite some time and with Jimmy and John being friends it’s like a little family we have.  When our house flooded it was John and Nicole that would take us in on the weekend so we could have some away time from my parents home.  We love them more than words can express.

So now in a couple of days they are going to be married.  They will be forever joined as husband and wife and the path that took them on several different directions will now come together for one long highway till death do they part.

Their story is one that fairytales are built from.  Nothing in this life, that is worth anything, comes to us easy.  Sometimes we have to walk through the rain, take the road less traveled, feel pain and loss and have our hearts broken to make us who we are today; to make us appreciate all the things in life and see that sometimes things are going to be hard but look how far we’ve made it already. Sometimes it’s just what we have to do, to live through, to get us where we are today.

I’m so excited that I get to be a part of such a special day for John and Nicole.  They are truly two people Jimmy and I love dearly and it says a lot that we like them so much even though they are gators.  We’ve already had so many fun adventures with both of them and I know I speak for both of us when I say we can’t wait for all the adventures we will share in the future. 
So today I write them to remind them of what I believe they already know.

Dear John and Nicole-

Celebrate the little things in life and treat the disasters in life as incidents.  You’ll look back and realize that the events you thought were disastrous weren’t as bad as you thought and the little things like kisses in the morning or walks in the evening are going to be the things you cherish the most.

Laugh- laugh often, laugh with each other, make each other laugh, laugh when all you want to do is scream- find a way to laugh everyday and you’ll get through anything.

Don’t be afraid to fight.  Some people think they have the perfect marriage if they never fight.  I say… Just give it some time!  Sometimes people fight.  I mean look back at your childhood.  I’m sure you fought with a sibling or your parents; you don’t love them any less do you?  Of course there is an unhealthy amount of fighting that could happen but don’t be afraid of the spats and quarrels that are inevitable.  It’s the differences in each other that you fell in love with, how can you expect to agree on EVERYTHING?  How can you expect to see eye to eye on EVERYTHING?  How can you expect that your husband will think he’s right when we all know the wife is ALWAYS right?  HeeHee ;)

The truth of the matter is that people fight. We disagree, we argue, we get upset, we get tired and cranky, we get moody, bad things happen and we snap.  It’s what we do after the fight that matters.  Cool down; take a moment to really listen to what your partner said.  In your mind they could still be totally in the “wrong” but each of us is entitled to our feelings.  Try to see their side and I believe this can help with a compromise.  But it can’t just be one of you that compromises- both of you have to bend a little it’s the only way your relationship can remain a true partnership.  And say you’re sorry.  Even if you were the “right one” chances are in the heat of the moment you said something that was hurtful or just plain yelling at one another isn’t right.  It doesn’t matter how much the other person upset you- no one deserves to be treated with disrespect, least of all your spouse.  So in the end always apologize and remember to say those three magical words- I love you.  Because no matter the argument- you never want to forget that you do love each other.

Respect each other- take interest in each other.  Be each others biggest fans

Take time to be romantic- it doesn’t matter if you’ve been married a year or 50 years.  Romance should always be present in a marriage.

Communicate- never stop talking.  Too many times problems arise from people not talking, keeping things bottled up inside or just assuming what the other person will say.  You are a team now- never be afraid to talk to each other, to share with each other- NEVER STOP TALKING.

 You’ve spent the better part of your lives loving each other and so I have a feeling you are going to do just fine with this whole marriage thing.  You’ve already mastered one of the most important things in a marriage- fall in love again- over and over and over again.  You’ve gone out on your own and every time you two end up back together- you’ve made different friends, loved different people but in the end you always ended up back together.

It was more than fate that brought you two back together.  It was true love and no matter what- you loved each other more than I think you even knew.

I think the Beatles said it best with "In My Life"

But of all these friends and lovers

There is no one compares with you.

And these memories lose their meaning

When I think of love as something new.

Though I know I'll never lose affection

For people and things that went before

I know I'll often stop and think about them

In my life, I love you more.

Congratulations to two of the bestest friends I have- John and Nicole- I love you both so much!

I thought I knew what love was- that was until I met Isabelle

 She's finally arrived!

August 16th, 6:53pm, 8 pounds 6 ounces, 21 and 1/2 inches long- a little girl entered this world and her name was Isabelle Alexa Holland!
I started out on Monday the 15th of August going to the doctor.  Still no progress- only 1cm.  But this appointment was different than the other, there was less fluid, she wasn't moving as much and so they decided to send me on to the hospital. 
I went home, cleaned the house a little, finished packing my bag with last minute things, took a shower and had my mom and sister take me to the hospital as Jimmy was working to leave his store and make sure it was covered.
The options were pitocin, some other drug or a Cook's Catheter.  The Catheter was the closest thing to natural so that's what I went with.  The midwife made it seem like it would be 12 hours before anything would happen.  Almost immediately I started having contractions, then I got sick and was throwing up and the catheter came out which meant I was 4cm.  I thought- this is GREAT- I'm moving along faster than they thought and while it hurts I can totally do this!  My water broke and everything seemed to be moving along.  That's what I thought at least.  The pain got worse but the more painful/stressful part was the throwing up with the contractions.  I was having a contraction every 2-3 minutes and getting sick with almost every one.  I was so tired and after 14 hours I threw in the towel and asked for the epidural.
The nice thing with the epidural was that I got to sleep.  I needed to sleep and looking back I know that was good b/c I still had another 13 hours to go!  I was 5cm around 2pm and they were suggesting a C-section because I wasn't progressing.  I asked for one more hour.  They left the room and I just closed my eyes imagining a hole opening and I kept repeating "Come on Isabelle we can do this" When they returned in an hour I was 8cm!  The midwife was so impressed she said she'd give me another hour to move along and I repeated the same thing.  When she returned I was 10cm!  It was time to PUSH!
So this again I thought "OKAY HERE WE GO - SHE'LL BE HERE ANY MINUTE!"
Wrong Again Melanie!
I pushed and pushed - every 2-3 minutes as hard as I could and while she was moving she just wasn't coming out.  Her head was tilted and she just wasn't budging.  They were getting nervous and it looked like after all I'd done, all I'd been through I was going to have to have a C-Section.  Lucky for me the doctor that arrived was old-school trained and was known for being an expert with forceps.  The midwife was talking to me calmly, almost trying to talk me into the idea of using forceps- I didn't even let her finish- I just looked at her and said "Do it- just get her out of me!"
He arrived, he pulled- I pushed and in moments Isabelle was out!  They took her over to the table to clean her lungs and do other things and I was stuck on the table. 

My job wasn't done yet but I couldn't stop looking over at her.  I started crying- she was here.  The person I had wished for on stars, prayed for on bended knee,  dreamed about- she was here but I couldn't even touch her.  When they finally brought her over I couldn't believe she was mine.  And here is when I discovered true love.  Don't get me wrong - I love my husband, I love my family and friends but here I was meeting someone for the first time and I was head over heels in love with her.  She's my lil munchkin and I can't get enough of her.
Jimmy is such a good dad too- she totally has him wrapped around her little finger.  The man that used to blaze out of the house in the morning now takes a little longer to leave as he hold his little girl and kisses her over and over again goodbye.  And when he gets home from work he goes right to her. 

I'm trying to get her on a schedule but the poor guy just wants to spend time with her and so I've let him snuggle with her after her first evening feeding.  They usually end up sleeping together.

We had her in the bedroom with us in a bassinet but now she's moved to her crib.  I find myself staring at the monitor constantly to check on her.  She's such a sleeper- apparently I was the same way.  Chill mama = Chill baby, We love our sleep!

I've had some complications but slowly I'm getting better.  Can't wait to feel "normal" again!
She's regained her birth weight and some- weighing in today at 8lbs 12 ounces. 
I'm tired, I'm in pain still and I'm emotional but I'm also in love.  I know what true love is now- because I nothing takes away from how much I love this girl.  Instead it seems that each day, each hour, each minute- I love her more than I did before.

I love you Isabelle, with all that I am.  I can't wait for all of our adventures to come!

Isabelle, I wish for you….

I wish that your beauty within far exceeds your outer beauty.

I wish that you laugh often and much.  I hope you find a way to laugh at life when it hits you hardest and you bring joy to your friends and families by being the person to make others laugh as well.

I wish that you never know loss- but if you do I hope you know the beauty in appreciating that at least you had the time you spent with that person and even though they are gone from this earth they are never really gone from our heart or our memories.

I wish for you to have faith- faith in yourself, faith in others and faith to know that even in the worst situations, in the end everything will work out; a faith that lights the world when it seems all the lights have been turned off.

I wish that you are never the bully; instead I hope you’re the type of girl that sticks up for the person that couldn’t stick up for themselves.  The type of person that stands up to the group and isn’t a follower but instead a leader in doing the right thing.

I wish for you to be tolerant; to know that not everyone will be like you, believe what you believe, want what you want or see things they way you do- but you will know the ability to agree to disagree and embrace the differences between you and the world- to always open your eyes to the other side of the story.

I wish for you the ability to see the beauty in everything and everyone.  To see what others don’t take the time to see, to slow down and appreciate it all and be the one to open others eyes to all the beauty in the world.

I wish for you many, many friendships.  I hope you value the old friendships and embrace the new friendships.  Knowing that time and space may separate friends but true friends are always friends no matter the time or distance.

I wish for you compassion.  I hope that you are the type of person that is the first to extend a hand even if it’s to the person you don’t agree with.  I hope you have the ability to see the good in everyone even when it seems the entire world has lost hope in that soul. 

I wish for you to never know fear but if you do- I hope you have the courage to stand up to it, the courage to know that even the bravest person fears something but stands up to it anyway.

I wish for you great passion – passion in what you do, living life to the fullest and putting your whole heart in all that you do.

I wish for you to have a fighting soul- to be the type of person that never gives up.  When it seems all hope is lost I wish for you to be the person that still believes.

I wish for you to be known as a kind person- more than any other compliment or personality quality that you posses- I hope that people say first and foremost that you are a kind person with love for all.

And finally- I wish you love that can move mountains.  I will love you everyday and more each day than the day before and I hope love is all around you from others- all the days of your life.