Dear Non-Pregnant Person

As my due date gets closer I feel the need to share this letter that a friend sent me a few months ago.  It's awesome!  Thanks Anna!

Dear Non-Pregnant Person,

I hope you find these guidelines helpful in your interactions with pregnant women, as failing to follow them may result in serious physical harm. If you are thinking, surely she doesn’t mean me – then you should probably read this twice.

1. The appropriate response to a couple telling you they are having a baby is ‘Congratulations!’ with enthusiasm. Any other response makes you a jerk.

2. Through the wonders of science, we now know that babies are made ONLY by the mother and father – not grandparents. Unless the baby is in your uterus or you are the man that helped put it there, you may not ever use the phrase ‘my baby’.

3. On the same note, unless you made the baby as defined in 2, the pregnancy, birth, and raising of the child are not about you. You do not have input. No one wants to hear your opinion unless they ask for it…

4. The body of a pregnant woman should be treated the same as any other body. You would not randomly touch someone’s stomach if they were not pregnant, nor would you inquire into the condition of their uterus, cervix, or how they plan to use their breasts. Pregnancy does not remove all traces of privacy from a woman.

5. Likewise, no woman wants to hear comments on her weight…ever. A pregnant woman does not find it flattering that you think she is about is pop, must be having twins, looks swollen or has gained weight in her face. Telling her she looks too small only makes her worry that she is somehow starving her baby. Making such comments invite her to critique your physical appearance and you may not act offended. The only acceptable comment on appearance is ‘You look fabulous!’.

6. By the time we are 20-30 years old, most of us have picked up on the fact that the summer is hot. We are hot every summer when we are not pregnant. We don’t need you to point out that we will be miserably hot before the baby comes. Nor do we need to know how badly you will feel for us because we will be pregnant during the summer and how glad you are that YOU will not be pregnant this coming summer.

7. There is a reason that tickets to Labor & Delivery are not yet sold on Ticketmaster. Childbirth is actually not a public event. It may sound crazy, but some women really do not relish the idea of their mother, MIL, or a host of other family members seeing their bare butt and genitals. Also, some people simply feel like the birth of their child is a private and emotional moment to be shared only by the parents. You weren’t invited to be there when the baby was created, you probably won’t be invited to be there when it comes out either.

8. Like everything else in life, unless you receive an invitation, you are NOT invited. This includes doctor appointments, ultrasounds, labor, delivery, the hospital, and the parent’s home. You do not decide if you will be there for the birth or if you will move in with the new parents to ‘help out’. If your assistance is desired, rest assured that you will be asked for it.

9. If you are asked to help after the birth, this means you should clean up the house, help with cooking meals, and generally stay out of the way. Holding the baby more than the parents, interfering with breastfeeding and sleeping schedules, and making a woman who is still leaking fluid from multiple locations lift a finger in housework is not helping.

10. The only people entitled to time with the baby are the parents. Whether they choose to have you at the hospital for the birth or ask for you to wait three weeks to visit, appreciate that you are being given the privilege of seeing their child. Complaining or showing disappointment only encourages the parents to include you less.

Sincerely,

All the Pregnant Women/New Parents in the World

Waiting and Venting

It's true what they say, that at the end of your pregnancy you really do feel like you are going to be pregnant forever.  I miss being able to walk to the restroom without the fear of peeing on myself.  I miss the days when I could sit outside on my porch on a warm summer night and throw back a couple cold ones.  I miss being able to breathe when I lay down or when I take the stairs!  I miss the days where I could roll over onto my tummy in bed without fearing I was crushing someone and it felt comfortable!  Hell- I just miss being able to get out of bed without having to roll off of it!

The best is when people tell you "it will all be worth it in the end".  Well thanks for that Captain Obvious.  ;)
No I kid- I joke.  I know people are just looking for the bright side to make me feel better but I do that everyday with everything in my life.  I'm always the glass-half-full person! I deserve the chance to vent every once in a while! 

Of course I know it will all be worth it, of course I'm super excited to have my little girl in my arms but that doesn't mean I can't complain about all the pain in the butt stuff that comes with this little miracle.  Plus most of the time I make my complaining into something that has others rolling on the floor laughing.  If men were to have to go through this they'd be crying and whining every second of it- FACT.  Have you ever seen a man that is sick? It’s ridiculous.  There I am taking care of myself through it all but he's dying from a simple head-cold!  Every single thing in your life changes when you get pregnant and it's assumed that women are just supposed to smile and be thankful? 

I keep saying- give me 15 minutes in a high school classroom and there would be a SIGNIFICANT drop in teenage pregnancy!

I feel like women are made to feel ashamed if they complain about the not so wonderful things that come with pregnancy, that complaining makes you ungrateful, petty, a bad mother-to-be.  If anything I think keeping it all inside and not sharing your woes will only make things worse and cause more stress.  Venting is a great way to release some of that stress; it's a normal human response -so vent away you pregnant chicks!

I wanted to get pregnant so badly and when it took longer than I thought, there were people that made me feel bad for venting about that pain.  But talking about it made it seem less painful and usually I found out from my venting that they too had experienced similar frustrations.  Sharing the experience made me feel less alone.

So to all the pregnant women out there I say get together with other pregnant chicks and just have a venting session!  The swollen joints, the breathing difficulties, the morning sickness that reappears in the third trimester, the clothes that you are running out of because you won't stop growing, the inability to see down past your belly button, the weird pains, the fatigue, the sciatic pain, the waddling that has taken over your normal walk, the lack of sleep, the heartburn, the leg cramps and every other thing that may be bothering you.  Don't let anyone make you feel bad for complaining!  Once you have all of that out of your system you can focus on the wonderful ending of all this misery- your sweet baby. 

Complaining about pregnancy doesn't make you a bad mom-to-be, it doesn't mean you aren't grateful for the little miracle that will soon be joining you in this world- it just means you are human.  So vent away and I'll listen and nod and maybe laugh a few times with you.  Laughter can get you through almost anything and if you can find a way to laugh about constipation then you can get through anything!

I'm over the moon excited for this little one- she's on my mind all the time and it brings me to tears thinking about how much I love her already.  Just like everything else in life- if you can make it through this you can make it through anything because whatever doesn't kill you only makes you stronger!

33 Weeks!

Baby Girl has been incubating 33 weeks today.  I hear she could be anywhere from 4-4.5 lbs and 17-20 inches.  Pretty crazy stuff. 

Short Blog today- just had to share the milestone!

Childbirth Prep Class?!?

That's the question I got when I told Jimmy what we had to do on Tuesday nights in June.  Before we walked into the class last night he said "Watch, I'll be the only guy in the class"  To which I rolled my eyes and said "no you won't"

Sure enough the class was full of dads and only one girl was there with her mother.

The class was interesting and I think Jimmy learned a lot of new stuff.  Most of the information I knew from reading countless books and looking up everything I could think of on the internet the past 7 months but there were a few things that I did take in.  I also didn't mind getting a short back rub as the instructor taught Jimmy how to massage my back when it hurt.

I forget sometimes that Jimmy doesn't know as much about this baby stuff as I do and his ignorance is usually what gets him in trouble with me when I need his support and help.  I hope the classes shed some light on the poor guy!  Last night was a step in the right direction when the teacher instructed the men not to mess with the wives when they are sleeping.  She said if we are asleep but taking up half the bed and all the pillows to LEAVE US ALONE becuase we probably will only stay asleep for an hour and then be up again using the restroom.  SO TRUE.   Sure enough last night he wanted a pillow I had situated under me and I gave him one look and one reminder from what the teacher said in class and he left me alone!  ANNNNNNNNND in about 10 minutes I had to get up anyway to pee.  ahhh the joys of pregnancy!

Today is Bridget's birthday so I'll give my first blog shout out to Bridget.  Happy 27th Birthday Bridgie!!

Until next time...

All About Belle

Baby Belle - as I've started referring to her as, is due August 4th and I can't wait!  It took longer than I thought it would to get pregnant but I should have known she'd be just like her mom and make an appearance on that little white stick when she was ready. 

The pregnancy has been quite an adventure.  I always loved it when people would tell me they never got sick with their baby (insert heavy sarcasm here).  I was best friends with my toliet bowl for the first few months and very happy to see that stage pass.  The headaches, nausea, fatigue and slight weight gain was not fun but when it got bad I would just count the days till she would arrive.  I always thought she was a girl- I really wanted a girl but something else just spoke to me that it was a little lady in there. 

The second trimester came and went with my tummy starting to round out a little.  I stayed busy with birthday parties, wedding showers, baby showers and lots of other events- every weekend seemed to be jammed packed with activities. 

The belly really has been growing in the third trimester.  While working out I feel like I've just eaten Thanksgiving Dinner and sleeping at night has been difficult with the little lady pushing against my lungs.  Jimmy will come to bed looking for a pillow or a spot on our KING size bed and I can just offer him the couch and it's pillows or the guest bed and it's pillows- I told him "Just work with me these last 2 months!"
She kicks all the time and sometimes it startles me because just for a moment I'll forget I'm pregnant- then she reminds me with a swift kick to my bladder! 

The dogs have really started to protect the belly and Sanford snuggles on it each night.  I tell them each night about the baby and how she'll be here soon and they can't pee on her or chew on her.  They just tilt their heads at me and occassionally bark.

We've started to decorate the nursery- still waiting for a couple more showers before we finish the registry ourselves.  Jimmy painted the room and even went with an accent wall.  It looks pinkish at night with the overhead light and more purple during the day with natural sunlight.

The crib and bedding was given to us by my mom and dad and Jimmy was a great help putting it together.  I tried to assemble it myself but I got as far as opening the box before I had to quit.  It was just too hard bending over that big belly! 

Only 51 days till our due date.  I can't wait for you all to meet her!

WELCOME!

Welcome to Team Awesome! 

Merriam-Webster’s defines awesome as “expressive of awe” and “inspiring awe” “terrific, extraordinary” with synonyms of amazing, astonishing, astounding, marvelous, awful, eye-opening, fabulous, miraculous, portentous, prodigious, staggering, stunning, stupendous, sublime, surprising, wonderful, wondrous. 

It could mean good things or bad but one thing is for sure- it’s something to take note of.  That’s my life and I’ve decided to share it with all of you. 

Team Awesome is my lil family made up of myself, Jimmy, Baby Isabelle-to-be, Dooley our Yorkie and Sanford the mini Schnauzer.  It also encompasses all my friends and family.  I hope this blog gives you all a little insight on what’s been going on in my life- the good and the bad and hopefully I can bring a little chuckle to your day.  I’ve always said that my life could be a sitcom- Everybody Loves Mel.  It would be a hit for sure.