To My Dear Friends- John and Nicole…

"If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it is yours forever. If it doesn’t, then it was never meant to be."

Never has a quote been truer of two people than this one with John and Nicole.  John and Nicole actually had several tests to see if this was a true statement.  They've tried to pull apart but just like two magnets, a force kept pulling them back together. 

I knew Nicole in High School but it wasn’t until college that we became fast friends.  When I first went to Nicole’s house she showed me to her bedroom and pulled something out from her bed.  She swore me to secrecy as she opened a large box that she was keeping hidden.  I feel that the statute of limitations has expired on this promise and I can share this now without repercussion from Nicole- at least I hope.  She opened the box and it was full of stuff that linked her to a high school boyfriend.  It was a boy named John Pelick.  I recognized him as I’d seen him out and about and I assured her that it was ok to remember the good they had shared but she was much better without him.  I too had my own little box of memories from a high school boyfriend and didn’t think much of it.  Little did I know this was the boy she was going to marry- but I wonder if Nicole always knew ;)

Nicole and I became fast friends sharing pretty much everything with one another and when I came home from college each weekend to see my boyfriend I would also come see Nicole and hang out with her. 

Soon Nicole and John started dating again.  At first I didn’t trust the guy but the more I saw them together the more he started to grow on me.  Unfortunately it seemed that fates of time weren’t quite ready for the two to be together and they parted ways once again.  I think I took the break-up harder than the two of them.  For they were both good friends of ours (Jimmy and Me) and when they broke up Nicole had to distance herself from the two of us as well so that she had time to get over John- it appeared we got John with the break-up. 

 Jimmy and John spent so much time together after the break-up.  At first it was hard for me- because here was John a single guy out on the prowl and taking my boyfriend out with him as a wingman.  It was a tough pill to swallow for me. 

 Slowly but surely I saw something wonderful happen; I watched John grow up! Now don’t get me wrong- John was a very smart, intelligent person- he wasn’t some juvenile kid.  I have to bring up that when I was young girl crying over a boy my dad said something that stuck with me ever since.  He said “sometimes us boys just take a little longer to grow up” 

What I was witnessing was John growing up emotionally.  He quickly became a person I could trust, someone who looked out for me and someone I considered a true friend.  Here it was just as my dad said- a fly boy, a playboy- growing up right in front of me.  I’ve always been able to stop and see what others don’t always catch at first and there it was coming forward- traits like compassion, kindness, thoughtfulness- they were always there but now they were coming forward in actions.  And as they say- actions speak louder than words.  It was wonderful to see but it also made me wish it was something I could see with Nicole.

2 years ago Jimmy and I were married and all the events that led up to our wedding brought two paths back together.  Nicole was a bridesmaid and John was a groomsmen.  Some of us saw a spark start to develop between Nicole and John and soon created a conspicuous code name for a plan we were developing- Operation John and Nicole.  LOL ;) There were some of us that really wanted the two to get back together and some that were hesitant.  I was a bit of both- I wanted both of them to be happy but I also wanted it to happen naturally and protect them both as I couldn’t bear to see either of them get hurt again.  Well wouldn’t you know there didn’t need to be a plan, the two were like magnets and before we knew it they started dating again and the rest as they say- is history.

Nicole is a true friend and there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for her.  Jimmy and her have also been friends for quite some time and with Jimmy and John being friends it’s like a little family we have.  When our house flooded it was John and Nicole that would take us in on the weekend so we could have some away time from my parents home.  We love them more than words can express.

So now in a couple of days they are going to be married.  They will be forever joined as husband and wife and the path that took them on several different directions will now come together for one long highway till death do they part.

Their story is one that fairytales are built from.  Nothing in this life, that is worth anything, comes to us easy.  Sometimes we have to walk through the rain, take the road less traveled, feel pain and loss and have our hearts broken to make us who we are today; to make us appreciate all the things in life and see that sometimes things are going to be hard but look how far we’ve made it already. Sometimes it’s just what we have to do, to live through, to get us where we are today.

I’m so excited that I get to be a part of such a special day for John and Nicole.  They are truly two people Jimmy and I love dearly and it says a lot that we like them so much even though they are gators.  We’ve already had so many fun adventures with both of them and I know I speak for both of us when I say we can’t wait for all the adventures we will share in the future. 
So today I write them to remind them of what I believe they already know.

Dear John and Nicole-

Celebrate the little things in life and treat the disasters in life as incidents.  You’ll look back and realize that the events you thought were disastrous weren’t as bad as you thought and the little things like kisses in the morning or walks in the evening are going to be the things you cherish the most.

Laugh- laugh often, laugh with each other, make each other laugh, laugh when all you want to do is scream- find a way to laugh everyday and you’ll get through anything.

Don’t be afraid to fight.  Some people think they have the perfect marriage if they never fight.  I say… Just give it some time!  Sometimes people fight.  I mean look back at your childhood.  I’m sure you fought with a sibling or your parents; you don’t love them any less do you?  Of course there is an unhealthy amount of fighting that could happen but don’t be afraid of the spats and quarrels that are inevitable.  It’s the differences in each other that you fell in love with, how can you expect to agree on EVERYTHING?  How can you expect to see eye to eye on EVERYTHING?  How can you expect that your husband will think he’s right when we all know the wife is ALWAYS right?  HeeHee ;)

The truth of the matter is that people fight. We disagree, we argue, we get upset, we get tired and cranky, we get moody, bad things happen and we snap.  It’s what we do after the fight that matters.  Cool down; take a moment to really listen to what your partner said.  In your mind they could still be totally in the “wrong” but each of us is entitled to our feelings.  Try to see their side and I believe this can help with a compromise.  But it can’t just be one of you that compromises- both of you have to bend a little it’s the only way your relationship can remain a true partnership.  And say you’re sorry.  Even if you were the “right one” chances are in the heat of the moment you said something that was hurtful or just plain yelling at one another isn’t right.  It doesn’t matter how much the other person upset you- no one deserves to be treated with disrespect, least of all your spouse.  So in the end always apologize and remember to say those three magical words- I love you.  Because no matter the argument- you never want to forget that you do love each other.

Respect each other- take interest in each other.  Be each others biggest fans

Take time to be romantic- it doesn’t matter if you’ve been married a year or 50 years.  Romance should always be present in a marriage.

Communicate- never stop talking.  Too many times problems arise from people not talking, keeping things bottled up inside or just assuming what the other person will say.  You are a team now- never be afraid to talk to each other, to share with each other- NEVER STOP TALKING.

 You’ve spent the better part of your lives loving each other and so I have a feeling you are going to do just fine with this whole marriage thing.  You’ve already mastered one of the most important things in a marriage- fall in love again- over and over and over again.  You’ve gone out on your own and every time you two end up back together- you’ve made different friends, loved different people but in the end you always ended up back together.

It was more than fate that brought you two back together.  It was true love and no matter what- you loved each other more than I think you even knew.

I think the Beatles said it best with "In My Life"

But of all these friends and lovers

There is no one compares with you.

And these memories lose their meaning

When I think of love as something new.

Though I know I'll never lose affection

For people and things that went before

I know I'll often stop and think about them

In my life, I love you more.

Congratulations to two of the bestest friends I have- John and Nicole- I love you both so much!